My 10 Top Tips For A Happy New Year (And Beyond)

‘The secret to happiness is flowing not forcing.’

                                                             Unknown

The beginning of a new year is traditionally the time for resolutions and resolves to change our life. Although I have always been a bit skeptical about New Year’s resolutions (as it seems that most of them are broken within the first couple of months), the beginning of this year simultaneously marks the end of this blog, and therefore, this seems to be a good time for a little recap.

So below is a list of my Top Tips for increasing the level of subjective well-being and fulfillment in our future life. As regular blog readers will know, there is little point in waiting for our life to become perfect- because there is just no perfection in the real word, at least not in the long run. Therefore, it is a question of an ongoing process of adjusting certain habits, behaviours and mindsets. 

The tips represent the points that I find personally most important, but the list is of course by no means exhaustive (otherwise it would not have taken me almost a whole year to go through all topics associated with well-being individually). All points are based on previous posts, which you can access by clicking on the enclosed links.

My Top Ten Tips for well-being

1. Do not try to seek eternal happiness- happiness cannot be directly pursued. It arises indirectly when you live well. The points below are a good guide for this.
2. Get the basics right: Get enough sleep. Exercise and eat well. Spend time in nature. This is not optional. All these things have been proven to support healthy brain function, which is absolutely essential in order to feel well. See also the post Don't Forget The Basics, Self-Control, Food For Thought &  The Great Outdoors.
3. Build and deepen positive connections to other people. Right after the basic physical needs, this is the most important factor for our well-being. Spend time together and talk. Be kind to others and let others help you. Look for people who are supportive and allow you to grow. See also the posts about Improving Relationships With Others , Me, We, Them- What Drives Our Decision Making and Empathy and Compassion. Regarding the difficult people: See them as a challenge (not a threat), but don’t spend more time with them than necessary. For more information go to: Understanding Interpersonal Difficulties, No Need To Shout 1 & No Need To Shout 2.
4. Be kind to yourself. Self-Compassion is a strength and has nothing to do with self-pity!
5. Be clear about your values, priorities and goals- they give your life meaning. If you are unsure about your values, completing the signature strengths test may help you to get a clearer idea. See also the post About Finding Meaning.
6. Change what you can change, but when you cannot change something then let it go and forgive. I have found this point really helpful. It is easy to waste a lot of time and energy lamenting things on which we have no influence, and it is a lot wiser to focus this energy on something positive and productive. Working Out What To Do, Forgiveness & Acceptance can give some further ideas.
7. Be grateful for what you have, even the little things. Practicing gratitude (rather than regretting what we don't have) is one of the fastest ways to increase our subjective well-being. See also the post on Gratitude.
8. Stay optimistic and hopeful (but not too much!). To learn more about finding the right balance, see Hope and Optimism.
9. Learn to deal with difficult situations, your weaknesses, mistakes, failures and errors. Long-term happiness and well-being are only possible if learn to cope with adversity and are able to look at ourselves, others and the world openly and honestly ‘warts and all’: Courage, Dealing With The Darker Days, Perfectionism, Self-Compassion and About Resilience 2.
10. Live mindfully and meditate- there is plenty of scientific evidence showing that mindfulness and meditation practices have a large variety of beneficial effects, and if you would like to focus on just one activity to improve your life, then this is a good starting point. See the previous post on Mindfulness. Some further updates on meditation and mindfulness can be found below.

If you like, you can use above tips as a guideline for any changes you may want to make to your life in the coming year. However, remember that most (New Year’s) resolutions fail, because we want to achieve too much too quickly. Instead, the secret of success often lies in making little and incremental, but consistent changes towards a goal. With some patience and persistence, we can then achieve a slow but lasting transformation.

This is particularly true as we cannot achieve happiness by directly striving for it, as suggested by the quote above in the introduction: When we try too hard, we will not get there.  

Mindfulness revisited

From all topics discussed on the blog, I have personally found the topic of mindfulness and meditation most fascinating and revealing. Although I had thought that I was aware of the benefits of mindfulness practices for quite some time, it turns out that I had in fact only just scratched the surface. However, the excellent books Full Catastrophe Living: How To Cope With Stress, Pain and Illness Using Mindfulness Meditation by Jon Kabat-Zinn and The Science of Meditation: How to Change Your Brain, Mind and Body by Daniel Goleman and Richard J Davidson have given me a deeper understanding of the potential of these techniques, and I thought that you may be interested in an update on this topic.

One of the difficulties with mindfulness and meditation is that they are difficult to describe to other people, who have not come across them before. So here is another try:

At the most basic level, mindfulness may be described as a way of living, where we pay attention to present moment experiences (including mental/emotional experiences and body sensations) with a compassionate, open and accepting attitude.¹ Mindfulness can be learnt through different mindfulness exercises and meditations (see below). However, mindfulness does not necessarily require these practices, as it is also possible to be mindful in our daily lives by staying in the moment and actively observing our moment-to-moment experiences. There are different variations of mindfulness. Probably the best researched mindfulness-based intervention is Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), which has been developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn a few decades ago. MBSR consists of a combination of different meditations and exercises which are taught over a period of 8 weeks, after which time participants are encouraged to continue with regular meditation.²  

Meditation can be most broadly thought of as a form of mental training, just as sport can be described as physical training.³ However, as you all know, there are many different types of sport. And similarly, although the most commonly practiced meditations have their roots in Yoga and Buddhist spiritual traditions, there are many different types of meditations (e.g. breathing meditations, observation of thoughts and emotions, transcendental meditation). Furthermore, as with physical exercise, these meditations can be practiced to different levels from the ad hoc, intermittent exerciser over the more serious ‘leisure’ sportsman to Olympic level so to speak.

In terms of the duration of effects of meditation, it is possible to differentiate between transient effects which only occur temporarily during the meditation practice itself (state effect), whereas it is also possible to induce lasting changes, which change how we behave and think in our daily life even outside the times of meditation (trait effect).³ The trait effect is made possible by neuroplasticity, a phenomenon that we have previously discussed on the blog. Neuroplasticity means that our experiences physically change the connections of nerve cells in our brains. This may not have measurable effects with a single, non-traumatic experience but with focused and repeated mental practice (such as meditation), we can re-shape our brain in a way, which causes noticeable and lasting changes.

Now, the interesting thing is that the specific type of effect that we can expect from meditation practice and the strength and duration of the effect (state vs trait effect) very much depend on the type of meditation that we practice and on the time that we put into the practice.³

For example, meditations with an emphasis on focusing attention on breathing and/or body sensations decrease mind-wandering, whereas observation of thought meditations increase our meta-awareness (meaning that we consciously think about thoughts and emotions, which makes us feel less entangled in them), while loving kindness meditations (where we evoke warm feelings of compassion for ourselves and others) increase positive emotions.³ Furthermore, during the meditation itself, breathing meditation tends to have a relaxing effect (decreasing the heart rate) whereas observing thoughts and loving-kindness meditations are not necessarily relaxing and may even increase the heart rate. 

As a general rule, trait effects are generally only observed in regular meditators.^2,3 Although brief exercises (e.g. on mobile phone Apps) may have a temporary relaxing effect, they are unlikely to lead to longer lasting changes.

However, is we are prepared to put in more practice, there are many further potential benefits, which may include (depending on the chosen practices): An overall increased subjective well-being; improved emotion regulation and increased mental and physical resilience; better interpersonal relationships; improved concentration, memory and reaction times; a reduction in anxiety, depression, hypertension and stress; reduction in chronic pain.^2,3 Regular (daily) meditation practice can therefore help us to find inner balance and wisdom, which can help us in daily life.

Despite these potentially immense benefits, it has to be stressed that meditation is not for everybody. Some people simply do not get on with it. More seriously, occasional adverse effects have been reported (also called ‘Dark Night Phenomenon’) although meditation (including mindfulness programs) is generally considered to be a safe form of mental training. These are rare, but can be serious ranging from severe panic attacks to the feeling of depersonalization and psychotic states. Harmful effects are more likely to occur in meditators with pre-existing mental health issues and in participants of intensive training retreats lasting several days. It is therefore advised that people with a history of mental illness should practice meditation only after assessment by an experienced instructor and not during an acute episode of illness.⁴

To return to the analogy of sport, it takes some training to become fit, and if we have not exercised for a very long time or have some sort of ailment then it may be better to do the training under qualified instruction in order to avoid injury. However, whereas we often have a very goal-orientated approach with physical exercise, mindfulness and meditation practices call for a non-striving attitude in order to become better at them. Again, this is very similar to the paradoxical effect that direct striving for happiness will actually slow us down in achieving just this. With mindfulness this makes a lot of sense, as the essence of a mindful life is to be present in the moment, with an open and accepting attitude towards new experiences (being mode) rather than trying to strive and control (doing mode).

When taking up mindfulness and/or meditation training, it is therefore advisable to do this with an open mind and not in order to achieve any specific benefit that I have listed above. This is also captured in a Buddhist joke:

A Zen student went to a temple and asked how long it would take him to gain enlightenment if he joined the temple. 

"Ten years," said the Zen master. 

"Well, how about if I really work hard and double my effort?"

"Twenty years."


If you are interested in a mindful start in the New Year and setting long-term intentions, you may also be interested in this article, which was sent in by a good friend and blog follower: https://jackkornfield.com/dedication-and-long-term-intention/. Jack Kornfield's website also contains many other interesting articles on the topic of meditation.


You could also sign up to a mindfulness course. If you live in the UK then you find an appropriately qualified and accredited teacher near you via this website: https://www.mindfulnessteachersuk.org.uk/uk-listing/

Preview: Next week we have reached the end of the Good Life Campaign blog, but you can look forward to a downloadable PDF ‘eBook’.  

References and further evidence-based reading:

1. Williams M, Penman D. Mindfulness: A Practical Guide To Finding Peace In A Frantic World. Hachette Digital Little, Brown Book Group; London, UK. 2011.

2. Kabat-Zinn J: Full Catastrophe Living: How To Cope With Stress, Pain and Illness Using Mindfulness Meditation. Piatkus. 2013.

3. Goleman D, Davidson RJ. The Science of Meditation: How to Change Your Brain, Mind and Body. Penguin Random House UK, 2017.

4. Baer R, Kuyken W. Is mindfulness safe? 2016. Retrieved from http://oxfordmindfulness.org/insight/is-mindfulness-safe/

If you found this information helpful, please consider supporting the campaign under Just Giving. Of course it is also great if you choose to support another charity or do a practical good deed, but it would be nice if you could let me know that you have done this because you felt inspired by this campaign. Please also feel free to share this post and let me know if you have any constructive feedback- good or bad!

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Donations are in aid of the International Rescue Committee and the World Veterinary Service

Expanding Your Personal Horizon: Why Opening Your Heart And Mind Increases Your Well-being

‘Whatever you do in life: Think higher and feel deeper.’

                                                           Elie Wiesel (journalist and writer)

Today’s post is about a well-known phenomenon that we are probably all familiar with: the positive effect we experience when we are learning, exploring and broadening our horizon. In other words, the benefits of personal growth and self-development, and the many ways we can achieve them.

Personal growth can be described as having a feeling of continued development, to be open to new experiences, having a sense of growing, expanding and realizing our potential. On the other hand, absence of growth may be experienced as a sense of stagnation, lack of improvement or expansion; we may also feel bored or disinterested in life, and unable to develop new attitudes and behaviours.¹

Why should we want to grow?

It has been shown that there is a strong, bidirectional relationship between mental well-being and life skills.^1-4,10-12 Having a sense of growth and expansion directly evokes positive emotions, which make us feel good; it increases our self-esteem and has a general positive effect on our well-being. Equally a higher level of well-being is associated with greater curiosity, flexible thinking and openness to learning. So learning, growth and well-being reinforce each other and can lead to an upward spiral.⁵

Broadening our attention and thinking allows us to form higher-level connections and have a wider range of perceptions or ideas (increased creativity).^5,6 These expanded outlooks help us to discover and build personal resources. Personal resources are equally important for our professional and private lives; they help us to take advantage of life’s opportunities and deal with challenges more effectively. Helpful personal resources include:^2,5

• Cognitive resources: e.g. the ability to focus our attention, creative thinking and problem solving
• Psychological resources: e.g. having a sense of mastery and control over our environment
• Emotional resources: e.g. perspective taking and being able to receive and give emotional support in order to build good interpersonal relationships
• Physical resources: e.g. good general health, increased immunity

So personal growth benefits our well-being in the short term (through positive emotions) as well as in the long run (through building personal resources, which increase our resilience).

Personal growth changes our brains

In previous posts we have come across the concept of neuroplasticity, which is the fact that the nerve cells in our brains constantly form new connections. Effectively, every new experience and everything we learn changes, builds and re-shapes our brain.^3,7,8 Of course many events just happen to us whether we want or not, but in order to harness the great potential of neuroplasticity to increase our personal resources, we need to be open and receptive for new ideas and experiences.

Neuroplasticity can have quite dramatic effects. For example, brain scans have demonstrated a significant growth of brain areas responsible for the control of the left hand in violinists, and the brain region involved in spatial memory in taxi drivers.⁷ It has also been shown that keeping active (including learning new skills, having responsibilities; social activities and interactions; physical activity) has a protective effect for developing signs of dementia. Older people who stay active build up a ‘cognitive reserve’, which preserves their brain function. Although their brain may show structural changes similar to patients affected by Alzheimer’s disease, stroke or Parkinson’s disease, they are less likely to show clinical signs associated with these conditions.⁹

There are many ways to grow

Of course personal growth may be achieved through many ways, but here are a few evidence-based suggestions on how to broaden our personal horizon, promote growth and/or become more receptive for new ideas. Please note that there is some degree of overlap between some of the categories. 

Cultivate curiosity^10,11
Curiosity (i.e. seeking novelty, exposing ourselves to changing situations and investigating new information and experiences) is not only an important component of well-being, but also essential for learning. By seeking exploration and novelty, we can focus on activities that feel meaningful to us, facilitate learning, competence and self-determination. By seeking new and challenging events, we stretch and expand our knowledge and skills.

Seek positive emotions^3,5,7

It has been shown that positive emotions directly broaden our outlook, giving us new insights and perspectives;  they make us more receptive and creative, and open us intellectually and emotionally, which encourages exploration, connection and experimental learning.  Positive emotions also promote neuroplasticity (see also below) and the building of personal resources.

Positive emotions include joy, gratitude, serenity/contentment, interest, hope, pride (for achieving something), amusement, inspiration, awe and love. Try to take notice and find opportunities to experience these emotions for example by interacting with other people, particularly those close to you; spending time in nature; visiting museums, art galleries, concerts and theatres; spending time with your favourite hobby and/or sport; performing small acts of kindness; remembering what makes you laugh and using humour.

Allow yourself time to play⁶

Having ‘playtime’ encourages us to engage in unfocused thinking and exploring avenues of thoughts and activities that we are normally not involved in (diversification- see below). It also evokes positive emotions, which are so important for our creativity and personal resource building, as explained above. Try to make some time in your day for unstructured activities, which allow idle thinking, such as listening to music, taking a walk, gardening or cleaning. Try to intermix tasks needing focus with these ‘de-focused’ activities.

Diversify^2,6-8,12

Nowadays we mostly strive towards a goal by devoting most of our time onto one area, but this tight focus on one topic/domain can limit our creativity and inventiveness. Diversification can be achieved in many ways, e.g. you can learn a new skill or rediscover an old interest; try activities you never tried before; diversify at work and take on new responsibilities; learn to fix things; learn a new language; start to play an instrument and develop an interest in music; engage in visual arts, literature/poetry or performing arts; take up a new sport; try to read books outside your normal area of interest; watch documentaries or shows on topics you do not know anything about; explore new ideas, theories and concepts; go outdoors; travel; meet new people.

We become creative when the left and right hemispheres of our brain work well together and integrate different networks. The left hemisphere is predominantly involved in linear and logical thinking, whereas the right hemisphere processes images and other non-verbal cues, and allows thinking in more divergent and holistic ways, seeing the bigger picture. So particularly engaging in activities which challenge both hemispheres can increase our creativity. More on this topic will follow in next week’s post.

Enhance the neuroplasticity of your brain⁷

It has been shown that neuroplasticity can be promoted and enhanced by several factors. One of them is emotional arousal, which is another reason why we should seek positive emotions, as mentioned above. Additionally, neuroplasticity is stimulated by:

• Focusing our attention
• Aerobic exercise
• Novelty

Particularly new experiences and ideas stimulate the formation of new connections; it has even been shown that novelty can promote growth of new nerve cells. So by actively seeking novelty, learning to focus our attention, making sure that we are physically active and experience positive emotions we can maximize the effect of neuroplasticity, strengthening new brain connections.

Live mindfully^3,12,13

Regular followers of this blog may have noticed that mindfulness gets mentioned a lot. And it is certainly true that it has many things to offer; in fact, it is probably one of the most important skills when trying to expand your horizon. Mindfulness can be described as a way of living where we pay attention to the present moment experiences with a curious, non-judgmental, accepting and open attitude. The open attitude refers to openness of the mind as well as openness of the heart.

Mindfulness can be practiced with various formal meditations. The effects of the meditations tend to ‘spill over’ into daily life beyond the time limits of the meditation itself. Additionally, we can exercise informal mindfulness practices, such as briefly focusing on our breathing during the day or focusing our attention to a specific situation or experience. In this way, mindfulness can be truly transforming and affecting our day-to-day lives in a positive way. Mindfulness can help us to achieve personal growth in several ways including:

• Mindfulness makes us more attentive to the moment, allowing us to see the beautiful, remark on the usual, savour the moment, and to be generally more aware of the world, our thoughts and feelings.
• Mindfulness can reduce our bias and approach situations with a more open and non-judgmental mind. It therefore allows us new insights and outlooks, and makes us more creative and receptive to new ideas.
• A certain type of meditation (loving-kindness meditation) can evoke positive emotions of warmth and compassion for oneself and others, and has been shown to contribute to growth by increasing personal resources.
• When practiced regularly, mindfulness can help us improving our ability to pay deliberate attention, and it improves our memory as well as decision-making. It can also make us more resilient, content and emotionally stable.

A great book on the topic

Talking about broadening our horizon, I have recently spent more time exploring mindfulness and have come across the excellent book Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn, who pioneered mindfulness by adapting and transforming Buddhist traditions into secular practices. This book provides comprehensive information about what mindfulness is and in which ways it may help us to grow.  

Truly amazing people- What can we learn from…:

This week’s amazing people are two veterinary surgeons who opened their hearts and minds:

Andrew Francis and Björn Rambags met incidentally on a business trip but soon discovered many mutual interests, and developed a close friendship over many years. With both friends having strong professional ambitions, they soon had the idea to develop a joined business project.

However, during a brainstorm on the Dutch island of Terschelling, Andrew and Björn discovered that most of their business ideas lacked a higher purpose or meaning. Continuing to contemplate on the project, they eventually realized that it was most important to them, that the business had a social impact and was able to help other people.

And so, unlikely as it sounds, Andrew and Björn developed the idea of a children’s book concept supporting children in need: Although neither of them had any experience in writing children’s stories, in publishing, illustrating or retail marketing, they wrote an illustrated bed-time story about two little bears called Lino & Luka. Then, they set up a partnership with the Childhood Trust, which is working to reduce child poverty, and the children’s hospices Chestnut Tree House and Naomi House & Jacksplace. For every sold Lino & Luka book, a child affected by poverty, chronic or terminal illness receives a copy for free.  

Andrew Francis and Björn Rambags show us that it is possible to branch out into different territories. By thinking higher and feeling deeper, we may be able to expand our world, allowing us to grow and –maybe – finding a way of helping others at the same time.

Andrew says about his experience: ‘The Lino & Luka project has made a huge difference to my well-being. We started with a simple aspiration. Wouldn’t it be great if the simple act of buying a book to read a bed-time story to a child that means the world to you could touch the life of a child in need, each and every time? I have been overwhelmed by the response to our story from little people and their parents. What’s more, the feedback we have received from our partner charities has been fantastic. I have learnt so much and met many hugely inspiring people during our journey so far and I feel that the Lino & Luka story is only just beginning.’

Andrew’s friend Björn also feels enriched by the diversification saying that: ‘Everyday, Lino & Luka contribute to my well-being, personal development and sense of purpose in three different ways. The book ‘Tea for two’ allows Andrew and me to make a direct, positive impact on the lives of children and their families, both under wonderful and sad circumstances. Secondly, our own little independent enterprise teaches me about literally every aspect of international business, from book publishing to product distribution, from collaboration with visual artist to partnering with charities, from trans-European taxation rules to retail marketing. Last but not least, our two little bears have enabled the continuation of the magic and flow which are tangible when Andrew and I get into one room and put our brains around, and shoulders under, yet another wild and sheer impossible idea to make this world a wee bit better. And having fun while at it!’

You can find out more about the Lino & Luka story at www.linoluka.com

Preview: Next week we will look more closely at harnessing our creativity and the question, in how far the arts can contribute to our well-being.

References and further reading:

1. Ryff C. Psychological well-being revisited: Advances in Science and Practice. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics. 2014;83(1):10-28.

2. Foresight Mental Capital and Wellbeing Project (2008). Final Project report. The Government Office for Science, London. Retrieved from: https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/292450/mental-capital-wellbeing-report.pdf

3. Fredrickson B. Positivity: Groundbreaking Research to Release Your Inner Optimist and Thrive. Oneworld Publications; Oxford, England. 2010.

4. Robotham D, Morgan K, James K. Learning for Life: Adult learning, mental health and wellbeing. Mental Health Foundation. London. 2011. Retrieved from: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/learning-life-adult-learning-mental-health-and-wellbeing

5. Fredrickson BS, Cohn MA, Coffey KA, Pek J, Finkel SM. Open hearts build lives: Positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2008;95(5):1045-1062.

6. Seppälä E. The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success. Piatkus; London, UK. 2016.­­

7. Siegel D. Mindsight: Transform Your Brain with the New Science of Kindness. Oneworld Publications; Oxford, UK. 2011.

8. Graham L. Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being. New World Library; Novato. 2013.

9. Eagleman D. The Brain: The story of you. Canongate Books Ltd; Edinburgh, UK. 2015.

10. Gallagher MW, Lopez SJ. Curiosity and well-being. The Journal of Positive Psychology. 207;2(4):236-248.

11. Kashdan TB, Steger MF. Curiosity and pathways to well-being and meaning in life: Traits, states, and everyday behaviors. Motivation and Emotion. 2007; 31:159-173.

12. NEF (2008). Five ways to well-being: the evidence. Available on request through www.foresight.gov.uk

13. Kabat-Zinn J: Full Catastrophe Living: How To Cope With Stress, Pain and Illness Using Mindfulness Meditation. Piatkus. 2013.

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Donations are in aid of the International Rescue Committee and the World Veterinary Service