What Do You Live For?- About Finding Meaning

“I have always believed, and still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come your way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.”

                                                                                                                                 Herman Hesse (Writer)

This week’s post is about one of the most central and essential aspects of well-being: having a sense of meaning and purpose in life, something which is worth living for.

The importance of meaning

It has been shown that experiencing meaning in life is one of the key factors of mental well-being; it gives us a worthwhile cause which motivates us, gives us direction and provides our lives with some depth- in other words it contributes to eudaimonic well-being.^1-9 Meaning can also provide hope,^4,6 and there is strong evidence, that having a high level of meaning makes people resilient to adversity.^3,4,6 Without meaning, our lives may feel shallow and empty; in fact absence of meaning can lead to significant psychological distress.¹ 

Different definitions and levels of meaning

Meaning in life is a complex concept and can have different connotations:

• Having a worthwhile purpose or goal in our life.^1-2
• Belonging to and serving something bigger than ourself:³  The bigger entity may be other people (e.g. our family or other specific people that we know directly, or a wider community/group of people), religion, nature, an institution (e.g. a charity or club), or a value system/topic (e.g. political orientation, a specific occupation, animal welfare etc).^2-4,7 In this respect, meaning gives us not only a sense of belonging but it also allows us to experience transcendence (the perception that we rise beyond our ordinary limitations, evoking positive feelings of awe).
• Meaning can also be understood as making sense of our life story: Forming a coherent narrative by understanding why which things have happened to us and why we do the things we do.^1,4,5 Meaning in this sense can also include our interpretation of a current specific situation or the sense we make out of that situation.

From this follows, that meaning is not only associated with our present situation, but also with our past and our anticipated future. It is also tightly associated with our values: what appears worthwhile to us depends on what we regard as important in our lives.^1,6 Importantly, experiencing meaning in life is not the same as searching for meaning: while presence of meaning in our lives significantly increases our well-being, there is evidence that a prolonged active pursuit of meaning has the opposite effect and is associated with poorer mental well-being.⁷ This is similar to the effect that people who are highly focused on achieving their individual happiness are often paradoxically less happy.¹⁰

How to find meaning

Meaning and purpose can be found in various ways. While experiencing meaning is thought to be an essential psychological need for humans, the specific thing which gives our life meaning is very different for each and everyone of us- we all have to identify the purpose/meaning in our life ourselves.^2-4,6 As a general rule, meaning can be found when engaging in activities, which serve others rather than serving yourself.

While trying to identify meaning, it is important to avoid over-analysis and rumination, which are associated with negative emotions.^2,3 You can remind yourself about how to avoid rumination in the post ‘Dealing with the Darker Days: Increase Your Control and Decrease Negativity.’ Also, when pursuing meaningful activities and long-term goals, it is important to realize that this may mean sacrificing short-term pleasant experiences: meaningful activities do not always feel great at the time, but make you feel content and satisfied in the long run.^3,8

Following suggestions may help to identify meaning:^2,4,8,9

• Find a measure by which you would like your life to be judged and try to live according to it every day. Identify your personal preferences, values and preferred activities. It may help to do this in writing or with a friend, to make the process more systematical and avoid rumination. Remember that your signature strengths tend to resonate with your values. A Signature Strengths test may help to identify your core strengths: https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu or https://www.viacharacter.org (registration required for both).
• Following on from above, try to find a specific meaningful life goal or worthwhile purpose, which is in-line with your values, but also reachable and flexible. This is very important, because life circumstances tend to change (for better or worse) and it is essential to be able to adjust your goals accordingly, rather than clinging onto goals, which have become unrealistic or meaningless.
• Additionally, it is possible to find a positive meaning within our practical daily routines and activities. For example, even if you do not find your work enjoyable as such, you may regard it as meaningful as it enables you to support your family. Similarly, you can find meaning in doing a household chore for your partner, or making a random act of kindness to a neighbour. 
• Help other people (or animals!) who have difficulties or who are suffering. These may be people in a similar life situation as you are or in different circumstances.
• Connect yourself to and work for something bigger than you are. As noted above, this bigger entity may be other people (e.g. family, friends or a community). Improve the relationships to people you really care about; being close to others and sharing experiences with them increases our sense of meaning. Meaning can also be found by joining and working for institutions (e.g. a club), a value system or specific topic (e.g. animal welfare, professional work, hobby). Depending on your preferences, you may also connect to religion/a spiritual practice or nature.

A truly amazing person- What can we learn from…:

Victor Frankl (1905-1997) was an Austrian psychiatrist and neurologist. His main professional interest was centered on exploring the role of meaning and personal values as a factor of mental well-being, and he is known as the founder of Logotherapy, a meaning-centered form of psychotherapy where the patient is re-orientated towards the meaning in his/her life.

After his graduation from the Vienna Medical School in 1930, Victor Frankl enjoyed a successful early career as a psychiatrist, working at the Psychiatric Hospital in Vienna and his own private practice. However, in the years following the invasion of Austria by German troops and the Austrian Anschluss to Germany in 1938, his circumstances changed dramatically due to his Jewish identity. Although he obtained an immigration visa to the USA he let it lapse, as he chose not to abandon his elderly parents. In 1942, Victor Frankl and his family were deported to the concentration camp Theresienstadt. Consecutively he was sent to Auschwitz and sub-camps of Dachau. Despite being forced to live through the most difficult circumstances, enduring starvation, forced labour and typhoid fever, Victor Frankl survived and was liberated in April 1945. However, he had lost almost his entire family, except for his sister who had immigrated to Australia; his wife, parents and brother were all murdered in concentration camps.

During his years of imprisonment, Victor Frankl made several important psychological observations, which re-inforced his previously formed theory on the significance of meaning. One observation was that while the prisoners had to live in the most horrific circumstances over which they had no control, they had control over how they thought and responded to these circumstances. Some prisoners managed to escape from the terrible external conditions by taking rescue in their thoughts, preserving their intellectual and spiritual freedom, and staying true to their values. Victor Frankl observed that these prisoners often adjusted better to the camp life, even if they were physically less robust. He concluded that these prisoners experienced their life as meaningful through this inner freedom, which also enabled them to make free moral choices despite the immense suffering they endured. Victor Frankl also observed that prisoners who experienced their life as meaningful, who still had future goals or aspirations (such as surviving in order to be re-united with family or to continue their professional work) were more likely to survive, because they were able to preserve some faith and hope for the future. Conversely, the prisoners who felt their life was insignificant and meaningless were likely to lose hope, and these prisoners tended to die sooner. As for Victor Frankl himself, he identified love to his wife and the ambition to publish his discoveries about resilience and to continue his work to advance Logotherapy as his main sources of meaning during his incarceration.

The observations that Victor Frankl made during imprisonment together with his underlying theory that life is primarily a quest for meaning formed the basis of his highly influential and world-renowned book Man’s Search for Meaning (see below), which he wrote shortly after his liberation. Victor Frankl was able to re-build his private and professional life. After his return to Vienna, he married again and continued his successful career, publishing many books and scientific studies, and becoming professor of Neurology and Psychiatry as well as being guest professor at several overseas universities.

We can learn many things from the remarkable life and work of Victor Frankl, but one of the core points is that it is not only possible to discover meaning under the most desperate conditions, but that striving for meaning also gives us strength. In line with Herman Hesse’s quote, Victor Frankl inspires us not to despair when life gets difficult but to continue looking for solutions. Or, to say it with the words of Victor Frankl: ‘We had to learn (…) that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us….Life ultimately means taking responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual. These tasks, and therefore the meaning in life, differ from man to man and from moment to moment. ’

Read more about this topic:

Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl has lost nothing of its significance since its first publication in 1946, and it continues to serve as a central reference for scientific publications on the topic of meaning. It is divided into two broad sections: A description of Victor Frankl’s experiences and observations during his imprisonment, and a short introduction into Logotherapy. Although it is of course not always a comfortable book to read due to the nature of its topic, it is nevertheless profoundly inspiring and encourages the reader to take a different look at life. Its original German title is revealing: Trotzdem ja zum Leben sagen meaning ‘Saying yes to life in spite of everything’. A truly remarkable book and thoroughly recommended!

The excellent Greater Good website has some practical tips about how to find meaning in work: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_ways_to_find_more_meaning_work

Preview: Next week, we explore one of the quickest way to improve our well-being: gratitude

References and further evidence-based reading:

1. Steger MF, Frazier P, Oishi S, Kaler M. The meaning in life questionnairs: Assessing the presence of and search for meaning in life. Journal of Counseling Psychology. 2006;53(1):80-93.

2. Lyubomirsky S. The Myths of Happiness: What should make you happy but doesn’t, what shouldn’t make you happy but does. Penguin Books; New York. 2013.

3. Seligman MEP. Flourish: A New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being- and How to Achieve Them. Nicholas Brealey Publishing; London, UK. 2011.

4. Fredrickson B. Positivity: Groundbreaking Research to Release Your Inner Optimist and Thrive. Oneworld Publications; Oxford, England. 2010.

5. Siegel D. Mindsight: Transform Your Brain with the New Science of Kindness. Oneworld Publications; Oxford, UK. 2011.

6. Frankl VE. Man’s Search for Meaning. Rider Ebury Publishing, Random House, UK. 2004.

7. Steger MF, Kashdan TB, Sullivan BA, Lorentz D. Understanding the search for meaning in life: Personality, cognitive style, and the dynamic between seeking and experiencing meaning. Journal of Personality. 2008;76(2):199-228.

8. Diener E, Biswas-Diener R. Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth. Blackwell Publishing; Oxford, UK. 2008.

9. Seligman MEP. Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Vintage Books; New York. 2006.

10. Layous K, Lyubomirsky S. The How, Why, What, When and Who of Happiness. In: Gruber J, Moskowitz JT (Ed.), Positive Emotion: Integrating the Light Sides and Dark Sides. Oxford University Press; New York. 2014.

11. References for the section truly amazing person: http://www.viktorfrankl.org, http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/obituary-viktor-frankl-1237506.html, http://www.nytimes.com/1997/09/04/world/dr-viktor-e-frankl-of-vienna-psychiatrist-of-the-search-for-meaning-dies-at-92.html


If you found this information helpful, please consider supporting the campaign under Just Giving. Of course it is also great if you choose to support another charity or do a practical good deed, but it would be nice if you could let me know that you have done this because you felt inspired by this campaign. Please also feel free to share this post and let me know if you have any constructive feedback- good or bad!

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Dealing with the Darker Days: Improve Your Control and Decrease Negativity

“Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.”

                                                                                             Benjamin Franklin (Politician)

Difficult life experiences and negative emotions such as anger, stress, sadness, frustration or anxiety are an inevitable part of our lives, but we can learn to minimise their impact on us. These difficult situations may include a current difficult event, a memory, or an anticipated future event. It may also involve dealing with another person or an aspect of ourselves, which we find challenging to cope with. After exploring how to build emotional intelligence in the previous post, this and next week’s post are about how to make use of emotional intelligence in combination with a creative problem-solving attitude in order to increase our feeling of control in difficult life situations. To do this effectively, it is helpful to first assess the difficult experience objectively without falling into the traps of negativity and rumination, before working out the best way of dealing with the situation. This is because different types of situations may require different types of action.

Assessing the situation:

• Try to be realistic and objective; it is also helpful if you are in a neutral or positive mood when trying to analyse the situation.^1,2
• Try to answer the following questions about the situation: 1) Type of negative emotion: Are the negative emotions proportional to the trigger and are they justified (helpful negative emotions) or are they disproportionate or gratuitous (unhelpful negative emotions)? 2) Duration of the experience: Is the situation likely to recur or be permanent? 3) Influence on the situation: Can you change the external circumstances of the situation or not?
• Identify your desired outcome

More information on types of negative emotions:

• Helpful negative emotions are justified, proportional to the trigger and based on facts. They are helpful, because they serve a purpose and often alert us to a problem with our life circumstances. They can help us to move forward and motivate us to change our situation.¹ Examples include:
• Feeling some degree of stress or worry prior to events which are important to us, e.g. stress prior to and during an important presentation or examination can be helpful, because it prompts you to stay focused and prepare yourself well, making it more likely that you will be successful.
• Similarly, feeling stressed can be adaptive in some other circumstances, e.g. it may alert you to the fact that you have too many commitments, and that you need to look after yourself more.
• The feeling of some degree of guilt or sadness after making a significant mistake motivates us to learn from our experience and (hopefully) makes us change our behaviour in similar future situations.
• Anxiety and fear in truly threatening or potentially dangerous situations.
• Feeling disappointed, angry and/or sad when being treated unfairly by other people.
• A period of grief following the loss of a person who was close to you, or after a dramatic negative change in your life situation, or if you fail to achieve an important personal goal. It is important to go through the normal natural process of grieving in order to be able to move on with your life at some later time point.

• Unhelpful negative emotions on the other hand, are not adaptive. They are disproportionate to the underlying trigger, self-righteous or may be completely unwarranted:¹
• Having a disproportionate reaction to an event from time to time can be quite normal, particularly at times of stress. However, if you find that you are having an exaggerated emotional reaction to minor events on a regular basis, it could indicate that you have vulnerabilities, which you may want to address. To re-use above example, feelings of outright dread and fear prior to and during important events (e.g. a presentation/examination or meeting) may be paralyzing and decrease your performance. Disproportionate reactions can also be a sign for chronic stress or other mental health issues.
• Unhelpful negative emotions (or absence of positive emotions) can also occur due to making social comparisons (comparing yourself to other people who appear better off) or to effects of the hedonic adaptation.^1,2 Hedonic adaptation means that we can get used to our life situations very quickly. For example we may start finding faults with something, which has previously given us great joy (e.g. a job/partner/house/car).
• Another group of unnecessary and therefore unhelpful negative emotions are those, which arise due to unrealistic expectations. As we do not live in a perfect world, problems are more the norm than the exception.
• Other types of unhelpful emotions include righteous indignation (anger or contempt out of a feeling of moral superiority), Schadenfreude (the joy over somebody else’s misfortune).
• Sometimes, negative emotions can also become a habit and kind of coping strategy, although not in a constructive sense. For example, some of us might find it exciting to display irritation or anger, or use these emotions as a threat to manipulate others. Other people may use self-pity as a form of protection.⁴

To speak with the words of Benjamin Franklin, assessing the type of negative emotion is about finding out, whether the negative feelings you are experiencing have a good reason or not.

Avoid the downward spiral of negativity:

While you are assessing and dealing with the situation, it is important to avoid falling into a negative spiral. Negative emotions and thoughts, whether warranted or unwarranted, can sometimes be overwhelming, making us feel helpless and decrease our ability to think creatively about solutions. As part of your analysis, you may also explore your values, core beliefs and vulnerabilities, which can sometimes be painful. In the last post, we mentioned some helpful ‘first aid’ strategies when you feel overwhelmed by negative feelings. Additionally, it is important to avoid the more long-term downward spiral of negative emotions => negative thoughts => negative emotions by learning how to tackle rumination. Rumination can be defined as having repetitive and unproductive thoughts about current problems, past situations or future events, or of relationships and conflicts.³ Rumination is very different to constructive analysis. Analysis is the systematic, step-by-step contemplation of a problem or situation working towards a solution, whereas with rumination, you have no control over the thoughts or the direction of the thoughts.² Luckily, there are several things, which can be done to avoid rumination:

•  Do not believe everything you think! – This very wise proverb summarises nicely that our mind, which constructs our reality, can sometimes be surprisingly wrong.^3,4 Of course we generally have to trust our judgment, but negative thoughts are often grossly exaggerated. If you are finding yourself often engaged in negative thoughts, then try and learn the skill of cognitive restructuring techniques:³ Whenever you notice a worrying/negative thought, try to be skeptical. Look for evidence whether the thought is true or not. If it is not true, then try to ignore it. If there is some evidence-based ground for the thought, then try to replace categorical unhelpful thoughts with coping thoughts. Coping thoughts are more balanced and flexible statements. For example, if you have made a mistake and your automatic, negative thought would be: ‘How could I be so stupid’ or ‘I am a failure’ with ‘Everybody makes mistakes sometimes. It would have been nice if it had not happened on this occasion, but I will learn for next time.’
• Distract yourself with:

o  Neutral or pleasant thoughts²

o  A pleasant and healthy activity that allows you to re-focus your attention. Examples are sport, gardening, watching amusing programs, reading thought-provoking articles and books, painting or drawing, playing an instrument or meeting (positive) people.^1-3

• Establish a dedicated ‘problem time’ in the day, during which you contemplate your problems, rather than letting the negative thoughts intrude your entire day. If possible, put your thoughts down in writing, which can help you avoid going round in unproductive circles.²
• Talk the problem over with a (level-headed!) friend, family member or other trusted person.²
• Meditate or practice other spiritual activities (including prayers if this helps you).^1-3 Mindful meditation practices can be particularly helpful as you also learn to control your attention better.³

Helpful books on this topic:

The Myths of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky is an excellent guide about common ‘happiness traps’ and full of practical advice about what we can do to feel more in control and increase our happiness in different life circumstances.

If you are a compulsive worrier or prone to anxiety, then you should have a look at Rewire Your Anxious Brain by Catherine M Pittman and Elizabeth M Karle. This is an excellent book full of science-based tips.

                    

Preview: Building onto today’s post, the final step in dealing with negative situations is working out when to apply which strategy or strategies- you can find out more about this in the final part of Dealing with the Darker Days next week. 

References and further evidence-based reading:

1. Fredrickson B. Positivity: Groundbreaking Research to Release Your Inner Optimist and Thrive. Oneworld Publications; Oxford, England. 2010

2. Lyubomirsky S. The Myths of Happiness: What should make you happy but doesn’t, what shouldn’t make you happy but does. Penguin Books; New York. 2013.

3. Pittman CM, Karle EM: Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to use the neuroscience of fear to end anxiety, panic & worry. New Harbinger Publications; Oakland. 2015.

4. Eagleman D. The Brain: The story of you. Canongate Books Ltd; Edinburgh, UK. 2015.

5. Diener E, Biswas-Diener R. Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth. Blackwell Publishing; Oxford, UK. 2008.

If you found this information helpful, please consider supporting the campaign under Just Giving. Of course it is also great if you choose to support another charity or do a practical good deed, but it would be nice if you could let me know that you have done this because you felt inspired by this campaign. Please also feel free to share this post and let me know if you have any constructive feedback- good or bad!

View and Save as PDF

Follow the Blog- http://followthegoodlifecampaign.blogspot.co.uk

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Donations are in aid of the International Rescue Committee and the World Veterinary Service