The Good Life Campaign: Why Should I Care?- About Empathy and Compassion

‘It can hurt to go through life with your heart open but not as much as it does to go through life with your heart closed.’ James Doty (Neurosurgeon)

Buddhists have argued for thousands of years that pain and suffering are an inevitable part of life, but that compassion can help us through this pain and suffering.¹ However, in today’s fast moving world it often seems that empathy and compassion have somehow gone out of fashion: we keenly guard our own interests; we may be reluctant to show kindness out of a fear to appear weak or odd; we may look at empathy and compassion as something suspicious or as a naïve luxury that we cannot afford.

Interestingly though it appears that the Buddhist notion is correct, as findings of modern science support the positive effects of compassion: Rather than weakening us, it can actually increase our well-being, making us stronger and more resilient- provided that we are aware of certain pitfalls.

What are empathy and compassion?

Empathy and compassion are much more than just being nice to other people or feeling pity towards somebody else’s misfortune (this is more correctly referred to as sympathy).² Talking about these states of mind can be somewhat confusing because the terms ‘empathy’ and ‘compassion’ may sometimes be used interchangeably. However, it is very important to distinguish between these two concepts because they are both associated with different functions, as well as potential advantages and limitations.^1-9 Brain scans using functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) even show that we engage different brain areas when experiencing compassion when compared to empathy.⁹

Empathy can be defined as the ability to understand and relate to the emotions of others, evoking an attuned response from the observing person. It essentially means that we can put ourselves in somebody else’s shoes, seeing things from their viewpoint.^2,3,6,9 Importantly, it is possible to rationally understand somebody else’s perspective without true emotional engagement (cognitive empathy).²Another subtype of empathy is when we not only understand the emotions of the other person but we feel and suffer with them (affective empathy).²
We need empathy to be compassionate but compassion goes one step further: We not only have a profound awareness of the suffering of another person, but we also have the deep wish and intention to relieve the suffering with some form of action.¹ So when we feel compassion towards somebody, we not only recognize and relate to the suffering, but we also react to the suffering by trying to identify specific actions which may help the other person.^1,2,7,9 Therefore, compassion is more pro-active and approaching than empathy.

Just to clarify: when discussing compassion in this post, I refer to compassion that we feel for others or receive from others. Information about self-compassion (feeling compassion for ourselves), which is also an essential factor for well-being and resilience, can be found in the previous post Taming Your Inner Critic- About Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion.

Why do we feel empathy and compassion?

Empathy and compassion are deeply embedded patterns that we inherited from our ancestors. In order to survive a hostile environment, early humans had to form groups in which mutual understanding and supportive behaviour was essential for group cohesion. It has therefore been suggested, that our capacity for empathy and compassion is a result of evolution, as the most coherent groups (consisting of more pro-social, supportive individuals) were more likely to survive.^4-7

Empathy and compassion are possible because our brains have a complex ‘resonance network’. For example, simply by observing somebody performing an intentional movement, such as eating food or hitting a tennis ball, our brain gets activated in regions, which would also become active when we perform these actions ourselves. The nerve cells activated by observation are called ‘mirror neurons’ and they are thought to be essential for the capacity of empathy.^3,6Similarly, if we observe somebody else being in pain, the pain-processing areas of our own brain may get activated.^5,9 Other crucial brain regions engaged with the empathic and compassionate interaction with other people include the insula and the medial prefrontal cortex. The insula processes the conscious awareness of our bodies/body sensations and also helps us to interpret our own emotions and the feelings of other people.^3,6 Interestingly, it has been shown that people who have a higher awareness of their bodies, are also more empathic.^3,9 Finally, the prefrontal cortex integrates and prioritizes the signals received from various brain regions including emotions (our own and those of others) and helps us in decision making- it helps us making sense of everything and decide which action to take.

Importantly, when feeling compassion rather than just empathy, there is also activation of brain areas associated with movement (motor cortex) in preparation of specific actions, and activation of the reward center in the brain, making us feel good.⁹

So to a large degree, empathy and compassion are wired into our brain and may sometimes be an automatic, largely subconscious response. However, it is also possible to deliberately choose to be compassionate, and to cultivate our potential for empathy and compassion for the following reasons.

Benefits of empathy and compassion:

Apart from the survival benefit of close-knit groups that made the human species so successful in evolution, the capacity of empathy and compassion has several advantages for us as individuals:

Empathy and compassion form the very basis for deep and intimate relationships with the important people in our lives.³ We can only have close, meaningful and rewarding relationships with others if we are prepared to ‘resonate’, allow ourselves to see their point of view, and if we are prepared to feel with them- in good and bad times. Of course this is a two-way process as we also benefit from the care and support provided to us by others.
Compassion activates the ‘soothing and contentment system’: Opening the heart and generating general feelings of benevolence leads to the release of ‘feel good’ hormones like dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin, and it is associated with feelings of safety, connectedness, warmth, affection/kindness and even elevation.^1,5,7-9 A compassionate attitude thereby creates strong internal rewards by making us feel good. This effect is sometimes referred to as compassion satisfaction.^8,10 The Dalai Lama has summarised these first two points in an apt quote: ‘If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.’
Attending towards others with compassion also allows us to direct our attention outwards. Focusing on somebody else makes us feel that we are part of something bigger (self-transcendence), which is also associated with positive feelings. Compassion can also be a way of finding a sense of meaning and purpose in life.⁷
In addition to the direct reward of compassion satisfaction, there are several significant long-term benefits. It has been shown that compassion makes us more resilient, that it decreases anxiety and depression and helps to increase our capacity for emotion regulation.^6,7
There are also benefits for our physical health: People who volunteer or care of others are less affected by stress, have stronger immune-systems and tend to live longer.⁷
Compassion directly counteracts egoism and narcissism. Although egoistic and self-centered behaviour seems to be on the increase and may be sometimes tempting, it often leads to a low level of well-being in the long run and is associated with a high rate of burn-out and depression.⁹
Compassion can help to develop courage, as compassion may sometimes mean to be assertive, clear and honest, or it may motivate us to act despite our anxieties and fear or against prejudice in order to help others.¹
Traditionally it has often been thought that we need to be tough and focus on our own interests when seeking professional success. However, provided that we are prepared to be assertive when needed and ensure that people do not systematically take advantage of us, compassion can be the key to success: Cultivating compassion at work leads to a higher team performance, employee engagement, profitability and customer satisfaction.⁷ Compassionate workers (and bosses!) make other people feel safe and therefore tend to be more liked and regarded as trustworthy. They stimulate feelings of loyality and engagement. Although egoistic attitudes can deliver short-term successes and advantages, these are often not successful in the long run, as selfish or narcissistic people often have a poor understanding of their true abilities (due to an inflated sense of self), have poor relationships with work colleagues (they are often not liked by their team) and tend to have a poorer physical health (excessive self-focus is associated with anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease).⁷Therefore, a compassionate attitude is more likely to bring professional success in the long run.

Potential problems associated with empathy and compassion:

The costs of empathy and compassion: There is no denying that we open ourselves to the pain and negative emotions of other people when we practice empathy and compassion, which we can then experience as if it was our own pain.^5,9 If the scale of suffering is very high, if we do not experience compassion satisfaction and/or we do not take due care to look after our own needs then this can lead to burn-out and compassion fatigue.^5,8,10 Following points may help to minimize this negative effect:

Compassion fatigue is somewhat of a misnomer as fatigue and burn-out tend to occur more commonly with empathy than with compassion. This is because empathy exposes us to negative emotions, as we suffer with somebody else, whereas with compassion we also experience positive emotions through compassion satisfaction.^1,8,9Overwhelming negative emotions make us retract, whereas positive emotions make us connect with other people. Therefore cultivating true compassion rather than ‘just’ empathy can be protective.
Additionally, people who are able to understand and express their emotions appropriately, and are able to recognize that the suffering they are witnessing is that of someone else and not their own, are less likely to experience compassion fatigue.⁸
We are deeply social animals but our brain uses a lot of its energy dealing with social relationships, and therefore there is a limit as to how much energy we can spend on pro-social activities and mind-sets.⁵ This is why it is essential to look appropriately after our own needs and energy levels, and be also compassionate to ourselves not only others.⁷

Fear of compassion (and self-compassion): Some people feel that they do not deserve compassion, or that others do not deserve compassion. So situations, which would normally arouse feelings of affiliation and closeness can feel strange or trigger the stress response and overwhelming fear, rather than positive emotions.¹People may also fear to show compassionate behaviour, because they worry that this makes them appear weak or to be a push-over.¹ The good news is often possible to increase our capacity for compassion with practice.^1,3,6,7,9
Limitation of empathy and compassion to certain people: It is not surprising, that we generally find it easiest to feel empathy and compassion for the people closest to us,and that we may find it more difficult to feel compassionate towards people who we do not directly encounter (be it a different group of people in our own country or people in different countries), and/or people that we perceive to be different to us (not belonging to our group).^4,5 At best, this may be a ‘neutral’ indifference but in the worst case it may transform into 'dehumanisation' and outright hostile behaviour, but this will be the topic of another post.

How can we cultivate compassion:

To become compassionate, we to become sensitive to feelings and thoughts (those of other people and our own), and we need to be prepared to see things from somebody else’s perspective (empathy). We also need to become emotionally open to the suffering of others (as well as our own), be able to tolerate and accept our feelings, have an open, non-judgmental attitude and have the deep wish and commitment to relieve the suffering of others.¹ We can cultivate compassion by:

Performing small random acts of kindness, volunteering in a charitable organization/community project or finding other ways of helping others or compassionate letter writing.^1,9
Being mindful and present when communicating with other peope, and practicing to read the emotions and facial expressions of others.^3,6
Compassionate letter writing^1,9
Practicing certain mindfulness meditations including breathing meditation and body scan meditations (which activate the insula in the brain and thereby increasing the potential for empathy) and Loving-Kindness meditation, a type of compassion meditation derived from Buddhist traditions.^3,6,7

Further information on the web:

A large number of amazing free resources are available including:

An excellent free E-book (available in English and German) edited by one of the main researchers in the field of compassion can be found here: http://www.compassion-training.org
Many practical exercises can be found on the Greater Good Website: https://ggia.berkeley.edu/#filters=compassion
More information can also be found on the website of the Centre For Compassion And Altruism Research And Education at Stanford University: http://ccare.stanford.edu
Free Mindfulness Meditations exercises including Loving-Kindness meditation are available at http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22&fr=true and http://www.freemindfulness.org

Truly amazing people- What can we learn from…:

Again, there is not much room left but a recent news story has caught my attention and I would just like to share the story as it is such as powerful example of compassion (as apposed to just feeling pity for someone): Acid attacks are sadly on the rise in several countries, including the UK, with devastating long-term effects to the victims. After hearing details about another acid attack, Sarmad Ismail decided it was time to act and launched a government petition to prohibit the purchase of acid. Your can read more about the story at https://www.change.org/p/uk-parliament-prohibit-the-purchase-of-acid-to-those-without-a-licence and http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-40570602.

Conclusion and Preview: Empathy and compassion have huge benefits for us as individuals as well as for humanity as a whole. As James Doty has found, opening our hearts is not without pain but there is no real alternative- as long as we adequately look after our own needs, compassion allows us to grow, foster resilience and it enables us to deeply connect to other people. Next week we will discuss another important topic when dealing with other people, which can sometimes be extremely difficult: forgiveness.

References and further reading:

1. Gilbert P. Training our minds in, with and for compassion: An introduction to concepts and compassion-focused exercises. Retrieved from http://wtm.thebreathproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/COMPASSION-HANDOUT.pdf

2. Sinclair S, Beamer K, Hack TF, et al. Sympathy, empathy, and compassion: A grounded theory study of palliative care patients’ understandings, experiences, and preferences. Palliative Medicine. 2017;31(5):437-447

3. Siegel D. Mindsight: Transform Your Brain with the New Science of Kindness. Oneworld Publications; Oxford, UK. 2011.

4. Greene J. Moral Tribes: Emotion, Reason, and the Gap Between Us and Them. Atlantic Books. 2014.

5. Dias D: The Ten Types of Human: A New Understanding of Who We Are and Who We Can Be. William Heinemann; London, UK. 2017.

6. Graham L. Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being. New World Library; Novato. 2013.

7. Seppälä E. The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success. Piatkus; London, UK. 2016.

8. Gleichgerrcht E, Decety J. Empathy in Clinical Practice: How Individual Dispositions, Gender, and Experience Moderate Empathic Concern, Burnout, and Emotional Distress in Physicians. PLoS ONE. 2013;8(4):e61526.

9. Singer T, Bolz M (Ed.). Compassion. Bridging Practice and Science. Max Planck Society; Munich, Germany. 2013.

10. Cocker F, Joss N. Compassion Fatigue among Healthcare, Emergency and Community Service Workers: A Systematic Review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2016;13(6):618.

If you found this information helpful, please consider supporting the campaign under Just Giving. Of course it is also great if you choose to support another charity or do a practical good deed, but it would be nice if you could let me know that you have done this because you felt inspired by this campaign. Please also feel free to share this post and let me know if you have any constructive feedback- good or bad!

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