“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
Dalai Lama
Explaining differences in well-being
Today
we are going to look at the things which impact onto our well-being and, most
importantly, we start looking at what we can do to improve our long-term
happiness. Over the last few decades many researchers have been trying to work what makes the difference between people with a high vs low level of well-being:
- As humans we all share some common basic needs, including the need for food, rest, safety, a sense of belonging and connection with others, esteem and self-actualisation.1 Another way of summarizing our needs is to divide them into the three groups: safety, satisfaction and connection.5 Our well-being will be compromised if any of these essential needs are not met. Importantly, it is possible that we live in circumstances, which objectively appear to fulfill all these needs, but that we subjectively do not feel safe, satisfied or connected to others.5 This means that to us it is the subjective well-being which matters.
- Scientists have been trying to identify specific factors influencing happiness and the degree to which they impact our lives. These factors are:
1. Genes: Surprisingly, our level of well-being is to a large degree
determined by our genes. It is thought that there is a genetically
predetermined ‘set-point’ or, probably more accurately, a potential range of
long-term happiness for each individual person.2, 3
2. Life circumstances and demographic factors: This category includes
a large number of different aspects including our ethnicity, gender, age,
childhood/upbringing and major life events, country of residence and the type
of society we live in, marital and occupational status, job security, income,
religious affiliation and health. Unsurprisingly, very adverse conditions (e.g.
extreme poverty, war/violence, abusive relationships) can have a major impact on our well-being (as
the essential needs are grossly
compromised), but once a certain sufficient threshold of external conditions is
met, it appears that influence of life circumstances on our happiness can be quite limited.2,3,6 One of the reasons for this, is that humans are
very adaptable and adjust relatively quickly to most situations. This is known as ‘hedonic adaptation’ (sometimes also called ‘hedonic treadmill’).2-4
It is also the reason why our happiness can sometimes be disappointingly short-lived after reaching certain goals (e.g.
gaining an additional qualification, running a marathon, getting a pay rise). Similarly, a new house/job/partner etc. may seem much less attractive after
the first excitement has worn off. However, the relationship between external
factors and well-being is complex3 and we will therefore explore
them separately in a future post.
3. Attitude and intentional activities: This category includes how
we think and what we do, so our beliefs and attitudes, and our behaviour and
interactions with the world. It has been shown that the influence of this
factor on well-being is quite large.2-4 Unsurprisingly, people who rate themselves as having a
high subjective well-being seem to have more positive and optimistic attitudes,
resulting in more constructive behaviour. They also have a more positive
self-view.6 These positive attitudes and behaviours also allow
‘happy’ individuals to interpret their life events and external circumstances in a positive way, even if the events/circumstances are challenging. When we adopt helpful attitudes and behaviours, we not only become more independent from the
effects of hedonic adaptation2 but it also allows us to find the
strength to overcome more difficult life situations.3 This does not mean that you need to change who you
are. In fact is it very important to take your core values and individual
predispositions into account. It just means that you adapt your thinking and
actions where necessary, to support your own long-term well-being.
Of course there is a degree of interaction between our genes, life circumstances/demographic factors and our attitudes/intentional activities, and it may not always be possible to separate them completely.
So what
can we do to improve our well-being?
-
From a practical point of view, it can be very helpful to differentiate above factors into things you can change and things you cannot change. We obviously cannot change our genes and some life circumstances (e.g. gender, upbringing, some illnesses). On other life circumstances we may have at least some influence (e.g. some health aspects, occupation and income), but the area we have the largest control over is attitudes and intentional activities. This means that if we want to increase our well-being, we should focus our main effort onto this category.2-4
- In the first post we have introduced the well-being theory. According to this theory, our well-being is influenced by positive emotions (or positivity ratio), engagement in life, good relationships with other people, meaning, and accomplishments.4 Other aspects to consider are our goals and values, making the right life choices, and learning to experience, consider, interpret and remember our life events in a helpful way.3,5 All above factors are to a large degree under our control.
- As discussed above, the path to well-being may be very different for each individual person. What may be a fascinating and positive activity for one person can be completely pointless to another. People have different values and goals, different tastes/preferences/motivations and energy levels, but also different problems. So which specific attitudes and intentional activities enhance our well-being depends to a large degree on our personality traits, character strengths, preferences/values and life experiences.2,4 As the individual factors are so important, it is essential that we know ourselves well enough to understand what we need and what will make us happy in the long run (self-knowledge).
- To summarise today’s most important points: Yes, sometimes it may be necessary or at least helpful to change our external life circumstances- this is definitely the case in situations where the external circumstances truly limit our well-being. However, we need to be careful not to confuse the effect of the hedonic adaptation with a true, permanent limitation of well-being, and we need to be careful not to overestimate the increase in well-being that a change in life circumstance will bring us in the long run. Therefore, if we think that we truly need to change our external circumstances, we need to do this wisely (we will come back to this in a few weeks). For a more reliable and sustainable increase in well-being our main focus should be on using the right attitudes and intentional activities. Which changes in attitude or behaviour are the right ones for us, depends on individual factors. Sufficient self-knowledge is crucial to make the right personal choices.
A truly
amazing person- What can we learn from…:6
Stephen Hawking is one of the greatest
minds of modern science. As a theoretical physicist and cosmologist, his work
has focused on the principal laws governing the universe. With 21 years of age,
Stephen was diagnosed with a rare from of Motor Neuron Disease and given a life
expectancy of 2 years. Although the condition has lead to gradual paralysis
over the decades, including loss of the ability to speak, he is still very much
alive and continues to have a keen interest in life (both professionally and
privately), adapting to its challenges and using inventive methods and aids
(such as a speech generating device activated by a cheek muscle).
What
we can learn from Stephen Hawking is that while illness and disability may
limit what you can do and certainly represent a huge challenge, it is still
possible to take an active part in life and take responsibility for our own
well-being and happiness, by using constructive attitudes and behaviour.
Described in his own words: ‘My advice to other disabled people would be,
concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you doing well, and don’t
regret the things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit as well as
physically.’ I think that this sentence actually applies to all of us: if we
concentrate on the things that we cannot do or cannot have, we debilitate ourselves. Conversely, concentrating on the things we can do and can achieve enhances our well-being.
To find out more about Stephen Hawking, go to http://www.hawking.org.uk
Easy reads on the topic of what makes us happy:
Hector and the Search for
Happiness by François Lelord: This is a novel about a psychiatrist travelling around the world to discover the secrets
of happiness
The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for
living by The Holiness the Dalai Lama and
Howard C Cutler: This is an interesting book in which the two authors explore factors
influencing happiness, and in how far Tibetan Buddhism can be applied by
individuals trying to increase their happiness.
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin: This is the account of as
self-experiment, where author Gretchen Rubin is trying to put theory into
action to improve her own life.
...and a great movie:
...and a great movie:
A comment on last week's post reminded me of a brilliant Pixar movie called Inside Out, which explains the role of emotions for our happiness really well. The film is about a girl who goes through a difficult time when her family relocates to a different part of the country, and how all emotions have their role to play to get her life back into balance. I think it is a film every child/teenager should see, but adults can also learn lots from it!
Preview: As personality and
individual preferences play such a central role in our well-being, we will have
a closer look at these factors next time.
References and further evidence-based reading:
1. Maslow AH. A theory of human motivation. Psychological
Review. 1943;50(4):370-96.
2. Lyubomirsky S, Sheldon KM, Schkade D. Pursuing
Happiness: The Architecture of Sustainable Change. Review of General
Psychology. 2005;9(2):111-131.
3. Diener E, Biswas-Diener R. Happiness: Unlocking
the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth. Blackwell Publishing; Oxford, UK. 2008
4. Seligman MEP. Flourish: A New Understanding of
Happiness and Well-Being- and How to Achieve Them. Nicholas Brealey Publishing;
London, UK. 2011.
5. Hanson R: Hardwiring Happiness: How to reshape
your brain and your life. Rider Ebury Publishing, Random House, UK. 2013.
6. Lyubomirsky S. Why Are Some People Happier Than Others: The Role of Cognitive and Motivational Processes in Well-being. American Psychologist. 2001;56(3):239-249.
6. Lyubomirsky S. Why Are Some People Happier Than Others: The Role of Cognitive and Motivational Processes in Well-being. American Psychologist. 2001;56(3):239-249.
7. References for the section truly amazing person: http://www.hawking.org.uk,
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Hawking,
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/10/science/10hawking.html
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Thank you for this post. The thing about the hedonic adaptation is quite an eye opener...
ReplyDeleteYes, I also found this one of the most interesting facts about happiness. The good news is that there are several things we can do to delay and/or decrease the effects of hedonic adaptation, which I will come to in a few weeks time.
ReplyDelete"individual factors are so important, it is essential that we know ourselves well enough to understand what we need and what will make us happy in the long run (self-knowledge)"
ReplyDeleteI get now that the path to happiness is an individual one. I've been told that Mindfulness will fix everything and after trying it, found it didn't work for me. I hope to see some other techniques discussed so I can investigate what works for me.
Thank you for your great comment. It actually raises several points:
DeleteWhile there is a huge body of evidence that mindfulness is generally very effective, like with everything, there are going to be some exceptions. I personally have also found that I got on well with some meditations and not with others- for example the voice of the person guiding the meditation can make a huge difference (sometimes we just 'like' a voice and sometimes we don't, and then in can be a bit difficult to get into the mindfulness practice). There are many different mindfulness resources available (from face-to-face and online courses over freely available downloads and books), so you may want to give it another try in a different format.
In any case, I think that it is unlikely that any one method can be the one and only thing to increase well-being. Everybody needs many different activities and 'components' to their happiness. I have summarised some of the most important ones in the posts 'Secrets of a Good Life', and will go through them step by step throughout the year. However, because mindfulness has been shown to be so effective in a lot of people, I will also continue coming back to it.
If you are specifically looking for an alternative for a contemplative type of practice, you could look at gentle, awareness-based types of yoga or Tai Chi classes, which are supposed to have a similar effect to mindfulness. Another thing which I personally think can have a very similar effect (although I have so far not found it written down anywhere in black and white) is playing an instrument or painting- essentially activities where you are focusing your attention on the here and now.
If you are mainly looking for a relaxation practice, you could look at progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery which seems to suit some people better.
I hope that this and some other suggestions over the next weeks and months will be helpful to you.